Aliens Are Evil
by Biminator
Summary: This beats the crap out of "A Ballad about Blobbo", for those of you who thought it sucked.


Well, hello. I'm Biminator. Now, this is the first of four in a series (NOT THE FIRST CHAPTER!). READ NOW!!!  
  
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Aliens Are Evil  
  
Part I: Death Strikes At Night  
And then the aliens invaded! (No, they weren't little green men with  
big, black eyes, you stereotypical person, you). I have no idea where  
these monsters came from or how they were made. The beasts were  
straight out of a 50's horror movie (only more realistic) called "The  
Blob"! (Dun, Dun, Dum). They were all over the town of Grand Blanc!  
The blobs devoured people right and left. They were as high as Mount  
Everest! No, wait, scratch that. They were as high as Mount McKinley!  
No, wait, scratch that too. They were as high as Mount Holly! Oh,  
forget it! The red jello-like aliens were barely as tall as I am. They  
were big, fat blobs of red goo. Then they merged together and formed a  
huge blob that covered the entire landmass of North America! Oh, I  
can't fool you. It did cover the entire school, though. I had seen the  
movie a few months before and remembered that the Blob was defeated by  
Co2 fire extinguishers. I tried that, but it didn't work. Then I began  
to be sucked in! When I was in up to my head, I woke up, screaming.  
  
And then the aliens invaded!  
  
Part II: I Hate Aliens  
As I said in the first installment. And then the aliens invaded! (No,  
they weren't big, fat blobs of red goo, you repetitive person, you).  
The creatures were straight out of a 90's sci-fi movie called  
"Starship Troopers"! (Dun, Dun, Dum). They were huge bugs of all  
different shapes and sizes. The insects were flying around, hopping  
around, and crawling around. They sprayed acid all over the place. Not  
even the sickening cafeteria food could stop them! There was human  
flesh scattered around! We gathered as many weapons as we could, but  
it wasn't enough. We needed a plan. I gathered up all of my good  
friends and we decided that we would gather body parts for the  
monsters to feed on. Then we would hotwire their ship and crash it  
into them. In order for all of us to stay alive, we needed to be able  
to pilot the ship by remote control. So, we salvaged parts from a  
remote control car and attached them to the ship. We then executed our  
plan. It worked! Then we celebrated.  
  
And then the aliens' reinforcements arrived!  
  
Part III: Kill the Aliens!  
The sickening beasts saw what had happened and became more cautious.  
We needed another plan, more complex then the last one. We thought,  
and we thought, and we thought some more. Finally, we thought of a  
plan. We would put body parts in the ships this time. We would need  
someone to pilot the ship that towed the others because the remote  
control's radio signal is not strong enough to get through the  
atmosphere. Luke, a good friend from a few blocks away, volunteered  
for this suicidal mission. As a final, friend to friend joke I said,  
"Luke, may the Force With you." Luke and I chuckled a little, then he  
got on the ship. The steel door slammed shut. Then the rest of us  
piled body parts in the other ships. Once the monstrous beasts had  
finished the flesh left in the open, they went into the ships.  
Previously, we had installed remote door sealers, which we used to  
trap them inside their own ships. The plan was that, once he got the  
signal, Luke would pilot the ship into the sun. We gave him the  
signal, and he zoomed away. Just before we saw a bright flash of light  
and felt a shock wave, we heard Luke's last words.  
  
"This beats "Starfighter" Yaaaahoooo!  
  
Part IV: After the Storm  
So he was dead. We had sort of a makeshift funeral for him. Then we  
went home. well, what was left of it anyway. A few days later, a piece  
of space junk fell. We looked at it for a few minutes, then just when  
we turned around, we heard, "That sure beats "Starfighter"!"  
  
THE END.  
  
OR IS IT?  
  
DUN, DUN, DUM!!!!!  
  
....................................  
  
Well, for those of you who thought that sucked, leave me a bad review  
and be done with it. Don't state that I suck in your bio, or report  
possible abuse, just review and leave me alone. For those of you that  
liked it, leave a good review, put me in your "favorite authors" list,  
whatever. Then go read the next part, "Aliens Are Evil: Attack of the  
Evil Alien Barbers".  
  
NYANNGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
